How I Am Living Life On My Terms

Wow, it has been a while since I have sat down at my laptop and put my fingers to work. A lot has changed since I last posted onto my blog. A LOT. Emotionally, spiritually (coming soon.), physically and all the other “ally” words you can think of. From head to toe, inside and out, things have changed. To get more specific, my mentality has done a complete 180 and my goodness does it feel right.

Two years ago, I hung up my grips and leotards, set sail for the Motherland (check out this youtube video from our trip to Italia!), did a brief and bold stint in Seattle, moved back home, took up acting (a childhood dream, that I am still pursuing), contemplated my entire existence on a daily basis (yay), and thought about getting back into TV journalism (a hard no).

But wait! There’s more…

I spent entirely too much time by myself, enrolled in Interior Design School (sigh, still not done), found a passion for digital advertising & production, went through some traumatic family events, found my way back into the gym, and decided to plant some roots…for me and for the vino….

Basically, what I am trying to say is, I went through it during those two years. And at the center of it all, I fought my own thoughts against the notion that, I think, most people my age believe. Which is, “In order to make it, you have to give something up”…give up your time, space, energy and overall quality of life for the pop culture version of success.

I was extremely guilty of whole heartedly buying into that sentiment….”you’re going to have to move to a big city Angelina; that is what everyone your age is doing…..you need to be working harder, staying up later, making more money….spend more money….for God’s sake what am I supposed to do with my life?!”

All the while this is being contrasted with the idyllic dream of living on a farm, close to home, raising children (which I didn’t know if I even wanted), enjoying the time we all have together. A slower, gentler, less conventional kind of living. But my gosh the thought of staying close to home made every fiber in my being feel shameful. Because what college educated, full of potential, 24 year old wants to live in the town they grew up in? *few people I know, I tell you*

That’s not the “cool kid” thing to do…

The two ways of life were always waging war inside my head. And I was always thinking that I could not have my cake and eat it too.

And then over Christmas (2020), my dad got COVID and ended up in the ICU for 10 days. (you can read all about his experience here) When I tell you I crumbled, I mean I CRUMBLED…to the ground, on my knees. Unable to exist without feeling constant terror that we would lose him. By far the worst Christmas/time period of my life, as I am sure 2020 was for many of you.

And then that was it, it hit me…

You can & WILL have it all.

And so can you.

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I STOPPED…

…letting the world tell me how my life should look, and redefined it for myself. Let me say this louder for the people in the back…I refuse to let someone who isn’t me, dictate my short time here on Earth! I feel no pressure to keep up with social norms or social media standards OR the Jones’s.

Now, please don’t misunderstand, I am not saying that to, “have it all”, that it will be easy and won’t require some sacrifice. I am, however, pointing out that designing the life you desire is possible, if you do the necessary things for it to work.

Don’t limit the potential of your life, based on what the world is telling you. That IS the point I am making.

Thank God my dad is home and doing well now. It’s why I am able to proudly say that I am happy for the first time in 2.5 years doing what I am doing. I have my own career, a supportive family, a loving partner, and wide open space. Most importantly, I have a firm grip on myself.

Shop The Look

If you follow me on Instagram then you would’ve seen some sneaky stories I posted about a garden project involving a very particular type of grape *wink wink* and a few interiors pieces I snatched up for what, I think, will be the my favorite project of all time!

I say all this to remind, inspire, and encourage anyone who is reading this that they can live on a farm, in a small town, while also pursuing your entrepreneurial dreams. Life is not a one size fits all, or a formula that you can plug yourself into and expect the perfect results. It’s trial and error, risk vs. reward. But only YOU can decide what the prize at the end will be!